It’s a sad fact that one day our beloved pets won’t be with us any more. Carrol Baker reports on the ins and outs of letting your pet go.
I remember when picking up my gorgeous eight-week-old Golden Retriever puppy, Sophie, the breeder had a poster on her wall which read, “The only sad thing about owning a Golden Retriever is one day you’ll have to say goodbye”. The same is true for all pets. As much as we’d love them to be with us forever, one day your pet will leave you.
Coping with the death of a pet isn’t easy; after all they’re a member of the family, your pet may even be your best buddy. So if your pet dies, don’t be afraid to reach out to your friends and family for support and understanding. Sharing your thoughts and feelings can help you through the grieving process, as can paying tribute to your pet, with a special ceremony or service.
So what does it feel like when a pet dies?
It can feel like a punch in the stomach — it hurts. Or it might make you want to cry and cry until you have no tears left. You might want to run outside and scream at the top of your lungs, or even feel angry, or confused because your pet has died.
Feeling afraid, frightened, or even lonely is a normal reaction to losing a pet, especially if you shared a close bond, and spent lots of time together. You might feel a sense of loss, and not know how to deal with it.
Dr David Foote, veterinarian and pet bereavement counsellor, says there is no right or wrong way to mourn, as everyone expresses grief differently. “Some people feel sad or overwhelmed, you may not feel like eating, and have problems getting to sleep,” he says.
“This is why it’s important to talk to the people you are close to about how you feel, and to ask questions if you don’t understand.” Dr David adds that how someone reacts after losing a pet can also depend on the circumstances in which the pet died. “If the death is sudden there can be more shock and disbelief,” he says.
It’s okay to feel sad
Trying to be super brave and just get on with things isn’t really the best way to deal with the loss of a family pet. If you bottle up your feelings inside it may take longer to start to feel better. “It’s normal to feel sadness, and it’s okay to cry,” says Dr David. “Each child will have their own grieving process, and it might be very different from their brothers or sisters. Even if you don’t show sadness on the outside you may still be feeling sad inside.”
Should I get another pet?
There is no right or wrong time to get another pet. For some people, they feel better getting another pet right away, but others prefer to hold off, and properly mourn the pet they lost.
Remembering your pet
Here are some ideas and special ways to honour your pet that might bring you comfort.
- Hold a memorial service and invite close friends and family to share memories of your pet and how much you love them, you can read out a poem or sing a song you’ve written to honour your pet.
- Create a living memorial, by planting a special tree, or spring flowers in the garden.
- Make a memory box, and put special things inside like photographs of you and your pet, their favourite toy and collar – whatever is meaningful for you.
- Make a special drawing or artwork, or scrapbook an album of special memories of your pet.
The original article was published in PETS issue #59. Don’t like missing out on pawsome stories? Subscribe to PETS magazine here.
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